Since the age of sixteen I've always wanted to be adopted into a family. At such a young age I knew that returning back into the care of my mother was something I wasn't interested in. 
Over the past seven years of being in foster care I've grown into this unrecognizable human being. When I look at myself in the mirror I see a deeply broken girl, most times I have bags under my eyes from lack of sleep and from carrying the weight of my past. People tell me that I have a beautiful smile but I can never tell because it feels like I'm always frowning. At one point I was confident about life and the future I wanted for myself but right now, I don't really know who I am anymore. Often enough I catch myself daydreaming about what my life could have been if certain things in my past were altered. Some days are certainly better than others. On a good day I'm mesmerized by my melanin and remind myself that I have to stay strong no matter what. I've walked a long steep road to get to where I am today. On the one hand I am proud of myself for not giving up but on the other hand I am mad at myself for always settling for less.
Recently someone implied that my chances of getting adopted were slim to none given my age and the fact that the majority of families seek younger children when planning on adopting. Honestly, I feel that isn't fair because everyone deserves a forever family, no matter who or how old they are.
Today, there are thousands of older youth in need of a forever family across the world. We older youth are constantly swept under the rug in the foster care system and left to fend for ourselves the best way that we can.
Earlier you read that I didn't know who I was anymore but now I can unapologetically tell you that I am a 20 year old foster youth who certainly wants a forever family. If you or someone you know have thought about fostering or adopting a youth, I strongly encourage you to continue on with the process. You never know, it may just change your life for the better.
